Right now, I’m reading an incredible book called The Recovering Spender by my good friend, Lauren Greutman (you’ve may have seen her on the Today show). Not only do I appreciate Lauren’s honesty in her struggles as a spender but I love how she showcases that chronic spending issues are really the result of much deeper issues.
Even though naturally, I’m a saver, I once found myself in the clutches of a spending addiction and I can attest to how strong that pull is. I was horribly depressed and kept using retail therapy to lick my wounds. The only problem was that the more I spent the more guilt and depressed I’d feel later.
It was a vicious cycle that felt never ending.
And then even after I got over that whole crazy retail therapy thing, I delighted both worlds with bargain shopping. I mean I was saving a TON of money and sometimes I wasn’t spending any money at all because I was earning the stuff for free, but really, I was suffering from yet another form of spending addiction.
I love this quote from her book, “the Spender will continue to inflict wounds on herself emotionally and financially until she learns how to manage her money and starts to take action to avoid the dangers that lie ahead.”
So true. And I know this lesson all too well and maybe you do too.
So how can a natural Spender – someone that struggles with impulse buying – control themselves and keep themselves from wrecking their budget?
You budget around your spending.
I know that sounds a little odd so let me explain. Since the natural tendencies of a Spender are to spend money, it all only makes sense that a Spender should budget around their spending.
Here’s an example: let’s say that your spending habit of choice is Target. You know that if you walk into a Target, even if it’s just for a gallon of milk, you’ll purchase everything in sight and leave with a Starbucks latte in hand. So the best thing to do for your budget is to create a line item in your budget named “Target” where you give yourself permission to spend XYZ amount.
Now if you aren’t sure how much to put in this category, look over your last month’s transactions. How much did you spend in total at Target? What about the month before? Take an average and make that the amount you account for in your budget.
You may remember this post here where I talked about why I include my husband’s cigarettes in our budget. Just like I believe in including a “vice” in your budget, I believe in including your weaknesses too. And if you’re a Spender and your weakness is Target, go ahead and give that weakness a name and a category in your budget.
Avoiding it does no one any good, but by acknowledging it, you allow yourself to recognize it. It becomes tangible and you can then decide how you want to act.
Now, maybe you’re saying, “cigarette addiction and a Target addiction are two totally different things”. And yes, one will literally kill you and the other will just kill you financially so there’s definitely some difference there, BUT, an addiction is still an addiction.
And if you don’t recognize it as an addiction you can never change. That’s why I believe in creating a budget that recognizes this instead of pretending it isn’t there and then wondering where your money went.
What if your spending is completely out of control?
So what do you do if your spending is far out of control that you literally have no idea where your money is even going because it’s not just Target that’s your weakness, it’s everything. The best option in my opinion, is to figure out what your spending trigger is.
I know that when I was struggling with retail therapy, my trigger was comparison. Every time a friend of mine would have something successful happen in their life (wedding, baby, new job, graduate college) I would get depressed because my life didn’t look like theirs.
So, I shopped.
It was my coping mechanism and it sunk me further and further into debt until I finally recognized my trigger. And I believe the best way to recognize your trigger, is to challenge yourself that every time you’re shopping, stopping and asking yourself why it is that your shopping.
Now, it’ll probably take a little while for you to recognize the exact trigger, but if you keep a habit of stopping and asking yourself what it is that is making you want to spend money before you spend it, you’ll have a great chance of successfully sticking to your budget.
I hope that if you are a Spender this helps you figure out how to account for your spending in your budget. I’ve been there, so there’s no judgement, only love because it isn’t easy to overcome. And if you’re not a Spender but know someone that is, please share this with them.
What advice can you give to a recovering spender?
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